Why adults date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from ancient times. Affairs can be loaded with troubles, cause despair, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, funds, age dissimilarity, spiritual education, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I am sure mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his wife for a tones of reasons. As a man I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed separately, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair